It occurs to me as I sit here this early morning, that we in this country are in a very unique time. We have the most prodigious communications system ever known to humankind, we can travel to nearly every point on the globe within days, if not hours, and we have the capacity for direct contact with more peoples, cultures, and worldviews than any other human in history. Yet, fear is one of the most prevalent motivators in the world today. Why is this? I wonder if it is due to the immensity of the world and a profound lack of local community? If there is fear and isolation at home, then it seems there would be fear when confronting something different outside of one’s local ecosystem.
In my travels I have found most people welcoming and willing to entertain differences with curiosity and respect. And, to be honest, this is generally true here in this country, on an individual basis. Most people are gracious and welcoming when they have someone face to face, regardless of differences. However, given some sense of separation or anonymity, all bets are off. So, is this a function of deep education? Is there a cultivated emotional intelligence that opens up one’s curiosity and compassion? Maybe, I certainly hope so.

Seth Godin, the internet marketing sage who has influenced a number of my business friends wrote this:

“Racist and sexist verbal attacks (‘remarks’ is too mild) never make sense.
Over time, people who judge others by their origin or chromosomes are always proved wrong, always shown to be afraid, not wise.
The fear that provokes these attacks takes many forms, it doesn’t discriminate based on the bigot’s age or income or even race or gender. But the fear is real, and when the fear pushes people to demean others, it’s revealing itself.
Even though the fear is real, it’s not an excuse. When we speak with respect and offer dignity and empathy, we’re describing our future. ‘Politically correct’ is a cheap way of dismissing maturity, confidence and kindness. Calling angry words a joke, or a momentary slip can’t hide them.
History shows us that attacking those that would bring hard work, generosity and insight to our lives is always a mistake. (Seth Godin)

I often think of all the conversations and opinions I have heard in these challenging times. There are my more liberal leaning friends shocked at recent events, wondering at the disdain for basic decency. Then, there are my conservative leaning friends who seem genuinely surprised at the grief and fear pouring out of so many people, often terrified that they will be swept up in pogroms and acts of violence. It occurs to me there is a truly tragic loss of education in this country, and not just from poor schools or a narrow technical focus. Rather, it is in the vein that James Hillman used to comment on, a loss of educare: to be ‘lead out’ of the darkness. We are caught in a time where the imaginations of many have been severely appropriated by a culture of excitement and titillation. We, collectively, have become addicted to the little excitements found in our devices, sound bites, erroneous and shocking news, and astoundingly biased and inaccurate ‘information’ we are fed. We are becoming less and less We.

A student of mine restated a meme found on the Internet, “Complaining about political correctness is simply saying you are angry and frustrated you can’t say sexist and bigoted things.” It took me a moment to grok this. Then, I got it—reverse thinking. When a man walks into a restaurant and says something demeaning to the server or makes a derogatory comment about another customer, then complains about ‘political correctness’ isn’t he speaking more about his own outlook than commenting on the society we all live in? Why would I need to be worried about being PC if I had genuine respect for everyone around me?

Here in Seattle we have a growing issue with homelessness. More areas in the city are becoming home to tents and other structures where homeless people reside. It is a problem—but not the one most of the population think it is. The first thing I observe is that homelessness is a symptom of a much larger systemic issue. It is a departure from WE, from community and from the messiness of democracy. Are there issues with camps? Certainly, big ones. The seeming never-ending flow of people no longer able to provide a fixed home for themselves is another much deeper issue; one with far reaching implications. I have many people say to me, “Well, a lot of them want to live like that…” As if that is an excuse to ignore those very same issues. Likely, there are a few that do want to live on the streets. However, most do not. To say that ‘They’ want to live there lumps everyone into an easy category of difference, separateness, other, and puts us all into a position of division within.

Scars last a lifetime. When we choose to do something, risk something, the outcome may be a wound that we carry for the rest of our life.

A friend related a conflict between his two young sons. Their mother is dark skinned, and the two boys are also dark skinned—the younger one, however, is lighter than his elder brother. When dad broke up the fight, he asked what it was about. The elder son, in tears, said, “my brother called me a Mexican and to get out of here!” When dad went to his other son and asked why he said those words, the son burst into tears and replied, “That’s what ‘xxxxx’ says about dark skinned people…”

It seems words do matter.